Category: My Life

Jul 21

Aurora Colorado Shooting So Sad

It was a tragic end to a wonderful evening where family and friends had planned to go the midnight screening of Batman The Dark Knight Rises. Many were gunned down by 24 year old James Holmes, who was dressed in body armor and a gas mask, at the Century 16 Cinema. Last count was 58 people hurt and 12 killed.

Many are questioning how and why something like this can happen. Some ask ‘where is God in all this?’ ‘How can he let people suffer.’ I don’t have answers, but I know an answer dropped in my email that day. Actually two emails, both from Chris Sigfrids, Senior Online Marketing Manager at WestBrook Multnomah. He quickly heard about the tragedy from his wife, as he was leaving his house for work. On the way to work he heard the rest of the story on the car radio. He, like most of us had questions. Many that seemed to come to him as he listened to the news reports and drove into work. In his first email he explains that

“I drove down I-25 listening to what had happened, just 50 miles up the road, I began to consider what the appropriate response was. Should I be angry? Should I forgive? Should I get a concealed carry permit? Should we have tighter gun laws?

In the second email he explains while in his office

“I … went to my bookshelves and found Randy’s [Alcorn] book, If God Is Good. I had read it a couple years ago and went through the table of contents to find chapter four. It gave me personal encouragement and I thought it might encourage others….”

Well I guess he got a lot of flack for his first email, people screaming that he was trying to sell books in face of this tragedy. He says that

“after spending 10 minutes with just a portion of Randy’s book, I felt comfort. I had answers. I found my orientation amidst the flood of possible responses.”

He wanted to share this comfort with many people; clergy, lay leaders, just us every day folks.

“My heart was simply to encourage others. I wanted to DO something about this senseless act, and this is what I thought I could do…something I could contribute,. A way to reach out and be an encourager,” he explained in his second email.

So in hopes that I can reach out and give others comfort also, I am embedding and giving a link so you can download chapter 4 of the book If God is Good by Randy Alcorn. I am also going to include the YouTube Video link of Randy being interviewed by Greg Laurie at Harvest Fellowship.
Randy Alcorn Interview

Here are links that Chris included in his email.

 Randy Alcorn’s website

A link to chapter 4 so you can download the chapter to read on the device of your choosing.

 

Hugs!!!

Namaste!!!

Read the book here: just keep scrolling.

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Jun 25

Forgiving is Hard

Someone asked me last night how I am dealing with drama in my life that occurred a few weeks ago. This post is my reflection on that question.
 

Forgiveness is one virtue I have a very hard time with. I am trying, and trying very hard. I am putting my faith in Jesus Christ our Lord to lead me and show me the way. I must admit I am a lot better at it now then say 10+ years ago. I am finding with my new-found faith in God it is easier than it has ever been before.

Every day that I read the Bible I find another passage that strikes home, like

Philippians 3:13b “Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead,”


which makes it easier and easier for me to place everything in God’s hand and rely on Jesus to help and guide me. 

In Forward Day by Day Saturday’s reading had a wonderful saying:

“The eternal God is whispering: “Don’t fill your life

with broken shards of the trivial; tell someone you love

them; forgive from the heart. Don’t defer joy to some

future which never arrives. I stand knocking at your

door.”"

I know for me (my great-aunt, who was like a mother to me, died in my arms, and my brother-in-law passed away while my husband was with him, so very unexpectedly) these deaths brought the realization of forgiveness and numbered days. However, I know someone who has had both parents die young and tragically and yet they harbor resentment and fill their life with broken shards of the trivial. I pray for this person every day that he/she will realize we need not harbor resentment in our hearts, because we just do not know when tragedy will strike. Instead we need to love one another and live each day as if it is the last. The whole meditation really spoke to me and I pray that it will also speak to you and those who need it.

Here are a few Bible verses that I go to during those times when I am struggling, or when that feeling of resentment begins to bubble deep down inside and I can feel it gurgling and know I am going to slip into what ifs, and coulda, shoulda and wouldas.

“Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom.” Psalm 90:12

“Love prospers when a fault if forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.” Proverbs 17:9

“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:14-15

“…Lord how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times.” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven.” Matthew 18:21-22

“But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.” Mark 11:25

and finally Colossians 3:13-15 really hits it home every time.

“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.”

I took my confirmation on Sunday into the Episcopal church of The Holy Comforter in Burlington NC. Now these verses in Colossians really mean a lot to me because Bishop Gregg asked us if we will renew our commitment to Jesus Christ and I answered “I do, and with God’s grace I will follow him as my Savior and Lord.” He also asked the congregation – the members of the one body – “Will you who witness these vows do all in your power to support these persons in their life in Christ?” and they answered “we will.” Then the bishop said to the congregation “Let us join with those who are committing themselves to Christ and renew our own baptismal covenant.” Therefore, I am reminded even more of what Jesus stood for and how he died for us.


amothersheritage.com

Beauty in His Grip Button

Hugs!!!

Namaste!!!

 

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Jun 15

Fun Vacation

Skyland Resort restaurant view

Which vacation is your favorite? Did you feel closer to our Creator? I know I did.

I actually have two, they weren’t my dream vacation but they were close. I really am unsure as to what my dream vacation would be, but it definitely would include water.

One was the cruise hubby and I took around our 25th wedding anniversary. It wasn’t for the anniversary – KT was employee of the year and they gave him a gift certificate to a travel agency. We left Port Canaveral, went to Key West, Belize, Cozumel, Progreso (I think there is was one more but I cannot remember). KT and I had a balcony room and it was pure bliss. Mornings we had breakfast delivered and we would enjoy on the balcony. We saw so many wonderful birds and fish from the boat, and when we went snorkeling in the clear blue waters of the Caribbean. It was so restful.

The second was just after hubby’s brother Jim passed away last year. On the way home hubby really needed some R&R, so driving south on I-81 I pulled out my iPad and started looking for mountain cabins or lodges. Along the Blue Ridge Mountains in Shenandoah National Park are a few lodges. I found Skyland an absolutely beautiful slice of heaven. Here is a place where you can commune with nature, literally.

Ursus americanus

Can you see the bear? Click the picture to make bigger.

We had just settled into our room, I had made coffee and we took them to the back deck that had this amazing view.

View from deck - Skyland Resort

Just as we sat down I noticed something moving just below in the little valley.

Just behind our room

To the right of the tree. It was a black bear! We had Chantilly Lace (RIP baby girl) our Yorkie with us, thank goodness she was inside at that moment. I am sure if she saw it she would have been flying off that deck to check it out.

To show you how close it actually got check this out:

On the left is hubby's arm.

We stayed here from Friday through Sunday and it was the best thing we ever did. It was just so relaxing. We would just sit and read, walk Chantilly around, hike to the restaurant to eat. The staff was so friendly. Actually when I called to see if they had any openings, the woman who answered was wonderful. I told her I wanted a really nice view and she made sure to find us one, the Canyon Room. AWESOME!!!

I am thinking of doing this again within the next few weeks. Just sit back, relax, bring my bible and some books. I definitely feel very close to our creator here.

If you come here always remember:

No caption needed - this explains it all!

This post was brought to you by the prompt from

Hugs!!!

Namaste!!!

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Jun 09

Serenity

Do you have a special place you can go to for solitude? for meditation? a little peace? some soul searching?

Oh how I love your law! It is my meditation all day long Psalm 119:97

We bought our house and 3 acres in 2001 and I have set up a few peaceful places in my house. My craft room and bedroom have little sitting areas. Outside I had three places, my back deck, a little spot by the chickens, and a little area in front with a bistro set.

Our property is almost like a rectangle and on the first acre and half sits the house with front and back yard, the other acre and a half in the back is woods, a stream, and a small clearing near the stream. This little spot has always been a favorite of mine. I am not sure what it is about water; streams, rivers, lakes, oceans, I love them and am drawn to them.

 

AS A DEER LONGS FOR

FLOWING STREAMS,

SO MY SOUL LONGS FOR

YOU O GOD.Psalms 42:1


A few weeks ago I bought two Adirondack chairs. Sweet hubby mowed the area and put down some organic bug stuff. Today I went down with my Bible, my reading, and my journal and had some solitude. A time for meditation. It was peaceful, and my thoughts were as clear as the stream in front of me. I could feel God’s presence all around me, in the ferns, the cedars, the beeches, the birds and dragonfly.

Hubby and I decided we are going to clear it out some more, bring down a fire pit and a few insect torches. It is just to peaceful a spot and so close to God to ignore it.

Tell me about your spot. Where do you go?


Hugs!!!
Namaste!!!

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Jun 07

Dayspring

katherines corner
Did you ever have one of those weeks or even months in which you were bombarded with the same thing over and over again. Okay well maybe bombarded is to strong of a word, but it is constantly present. For example, I kept seeing posts about a book called 1,000 Gifts, I would see it in bookstores, and I would hear people talking about it. So I caved, I bought it.

I went to a website called Dayspring and got lost in all their cuteness. They had so many wonderful things I had a problem in deciding what not to buy.

Not only did I pick up the book 1,000 Gifts, I also picked up a little workbook on community, a t-shirt, and the cutest purse and make-up bag. This is not your ordinary make-up bag. It is larger than most.

Across the front pocket it says ‘truly beautiful’ Ecc. 3:11. I am using it to keep my pens, pencils and highlighters for when I read the Bible. The front pocket holds my daily devotional Forward Day by Day. Inside is a zippered compartment and two pockets. It has a ton of room in there.

The bag is big enough to hold my Bible, my journal, my devotional book, whatever book I am reading, the make-up bag, plus a lot more. On the front it says ‘found & treasured’ II Thessalonians 2:13. It also has a zippered compartment and a pocket inside.

The picture was taken in my dinette, which leads out to our big deck and faces the backyard. On my table are roses cut from the bushes we bought over the weekend. I love them! They are in one of my teapots, I thought they matched perfectly. The table is decorated with a handmade embroidered tablecloth my Mom made me for Christmas. I adore it! I love when I receive handmade items, I feel so honored that I am so thought of for someone to sit, for hours or days, and make something just for me.

Here is a close up of one of the flowers, there are four, one in each corner.

She also hand crocheted the edging of the tablecloth. Usually I keep it in my bedroom on a little table where I have a small sitting area. I keep my precious mementos on that table; an angel my g-aunt gave me, a handkerchief by Laura Ingalls Gunn’s (from Decor to Adore) that belonged to her grandmother. You can see a picture of it here, without the homemade tablecloth, a book Gift from the Sea by Ann Morrow Lindbergh.

Do you have a special area in your house? What do you use it for?

Remember you can click on a photo to enlarge!

Hugs!!!
Namaste!!!

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Jun 04

Empty Nesting

Have you been? Will you be? Are you just? I have been an empty nester since 2005 and again in 2012. I count the six months my oldest and his wife lived with us, because we had them in the house, living, breathing, moving people, other than my husband and myself.

It was strange to change my routine when they were here, and then to redo it all again when they left. I must admit when they were here we lived a more structured life. Breakfast, lunch, dinner all served and scheduled, but I believe it is something we must do in order to survive with a group in the home.

When it is just hubby and I we don’t have a set schedule. Sometimes he isn’t hungry when he gets home and other times he is starving. He calls me every day when he leaves work and this is how I gauge when we are going to eat. I don’t mind waiting for him to be hungry before we eat. There are also days we call growl and grab, when our stomachs get growly we grab something from the fridge and eat, not necessarily at the same time. However, one rule – we always sit together, even if one person isn’t eating.

One routine we had when the boys were little still remains today. Matter-of-fact my eldest (who lives in southern Ca., with his own little family) commented on it one day. He said it always stuck with him and now he tries it with Jill. Whenever we would get home, whether it would be me from school (I was a nontraditional college student) or work, no matter how busy we were between baseball games, or soccer, or whatever it was, we would always sit down with a cup of coffee and discuss our day. Husband and I, just the two of us, boys welcomed to join if they wanted to. However, saying that, the boys had their time at the dinner table also. We always sat together for meals.

Yes, we are a talking family, no matter what, we talk about things, talk it out, discuss. My oldest and I could sit together in the evening, usually his younger brother was in bed and hubby could be bowling or he did service calls in the evening, and older and I would talk forever. He had the gift of gab and we talked about everything, for hours at a time. I think this is the hardest part about being an empty-nester, there is no one around to talk to during the morning, the day, or the afternoon.

Now that I have come back to Jesus, I spend my day talking with him. I gather talking was important to Jesus because there are so many scriptures where He has healed mute people to be able to talk again. In Matthew alone there are these:
Matthew 9:32-33
Matthew 12:22
Matthew 15:31


Brooklyn Museum: Jesus Heals a Mute Possessed Man (Jésus guérit un possédé muet)

Jesus heals a mute possessed man
Brooklyn Museum
James Tissout, French 1836-1902

Do you spend your day talking with Jesus? How important is this in your life?

Hugs!!!

Namaste!!!

P.S. If you are having trouble commenting by clicking the number here below (on the bottom right). Please let me know through the community link.

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Oct 19

Learning to Love my Body

This is one of the hardest posts I have written. It is something that affects me every single day. I try and I try to just like this body I am in. Which makes it is extremely hard to get to the love part. I had always been skinny, even after giving birth to both the boys, I lost the pregnancy weight fast. Then twenty some years ago I stopped smoking for the first time. At the same time I started a job across the street from a pizzeria. Oh yea dangerous stuff. The office manager and I would go almost every day and eat there or pick it up and eat in the office. I went from a size 7/8 to 11/12.

It is funny how I have always considered myself fat, though not as a teenager. I never had body issues when I was younger, I never thought of it. It was after I got married that I started thinking of myself as fat. When I look back at pictures of me I am amazed that I thought I was fat. I was far from it.

Eventually I started smoking again but the weight did not come off. I did finally stop smoking seven years ago, for good this time. However, my weight has increased from that size 11/12 to a 16. I have dieted; Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Atkins, Sugar-Busters, and I exercise. I do yoga and walk/run. I haven’t in the last couple of months due to some health issues and I have been itching to start again. I do nothing less than thirty minutes which is a little over two miles for me. Yet, I cannot lose the weight.

I have a hard time looking into the mirror and seeing my body, whether in clothes or naked. I wish that I could love this body of mine like my husband does. He doesn’t see the rolls of fat and always wants to make love or tells me how hot I look. Me on the other hand, find it hard to even get in the mood because of this body. I am trying though. One thing I keep going back to is one of the reasons I quit. It was to be more healthy and in order to do that you have to at least like your self and your body.

I had visions of being leaner and healthier and being able to run a marathon. I need to keep those visions in my head. Even though, I must add, I did run a marathon. It was two years ago (hmmm maybe three now), and it was a Nike Women’s Marathon that gets held all over the country. That year the opened it to remote runners using your iPod. Using the Nike+ system it kept track of your miles. Once done and hooked up to your computer it sent the information to Nike. I finished the marathon and was so proud of myself. I did it with running and walking. However, this spring I want to run a 5K, and I mean run, no walking at all. Well anyway, back to this body.

Every time I see an ad with clothing I like I get disappointed, wishing I could wear it, but I know it would not look good on me as it does on the models. Where in the world are the plus size models? It doesn’t help that my Mother has to reinforce my weight issue. “Don’t you wish you still had a 22″ waist?” Umm Mom I was 13 when I had a 22″ waist, isn’t that a little unrealistic? I have to keep reinforcing the good when she does that but I don’t, not every time anyway. “You know when I was your age I was really thin and I had four kids all within five years.” Sigh, I know, she can keep going and I really don’t want to put it all down here and rehash them. There is a deep seated reason I left NY and moved to NC, one that sits just under other reasons why we moved.

Instead of looking at the advertisements and wishing I was that thin, I am going to start doing things a little different. I am going to look at my eyes and marvel how pretty they are (so I am told over and over again). Hey how about my ass, that is not bad at all, it is small and has a nice shape to it. Hey, did you know my body cannot be that bad, it runs and it walks, it can do yoga (even to the amazement at some of my yoga teachers, who are surprised at how agile I am). Heck this body outdid my boys in karate. We are not talking just easy to learn karate, these people were sadistic with the things they made us do. I eventually left, I am sorry, a heavy 45 year old woman should not be doing some of the things they were having 10-18 years old do. Work up to it maybe, but not go full head on and expect to be able to do it. That was just the warm-up, exercise phase. I had no problem at all with the actual karate. However, I need to remember my youngest remarks to me one evening. ‘Mom I was so proud of you, you even kept going after I was totally done for.’ Yeah it made it all seem worth it.

It really irks me when I hear someone telling a young girl how she is fat or getting fat or gaining weight. Especially when she isn’t. Come to think of it, I don’t hear that being told to young girls who actually are overweight. My Dad will do it to my niece, who is far from fat. She lives on a farm and that girl can throw a bale of hay or do anything that needs to be done. She is a cheerleader and all around great girl, for who she is, not for her body. Yet she is very impressionable, like all young girls. When I hear my Dad say that I give him hell. Little do they know what kind of seeds they plant.

So even though I am not to the point where I can love my body, I am taking the first step and can say I do like my body. Not for what it looks like, but for it’s amazing qualities and what it can do.

“This post is part of the 2011 Love Your Body Day Blog Carnival” which starts today. Where voices all across the nation will be heard in blog posts about some of these topics:

» Advertising/media influence on women and girls
» How I learned to love my body
» Airbrushing and other tricks that create unrealistic beauty standards
» Cosmetic surgery
» Dieting and eating disorders
» Negative, narrow gender stereotypes
» Colorism
» Loving your body and disability – This one is even harder because I find it very hard to love my disability
» Children’s body image awareness

People will post their links to the Now’s page for Love Your Body, so if you want to read more from other amazing women, please go to the link and look in the comments section for more.

Hugs!!
Namaste!!

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Oct 10

I Slowed Down

I haven’t posted in a while. I’ve been worried, and when I worry I tend to go deep inside myself. I know I shouldn’t do that, I really should reach out. So I am going to take heed of the advice given to me by Samantha, a friend from the SheWrites Web site. I am going to reach out to my friends. You see I had problems with ahem, umm, bowel movements, that was my major concern, even though I also have acidic stomach, nausea after eating and a really hard time losing weight. Being that I had five pre-cancerous polyps last year found during my colonoscopy, my doctor decided to be safe and have me do another one along with an endoscopy.

Again five polyps were found during the colonoscopy and during the endoscopy a lot of things were found. So many that they took between eight and ten biopsies. That is what scared me the most. They told my husband, well and me actually but I don’t remember, that no news is good news. I hate that. How do I know when I am supposed to hear from them if there is bad news. If I had the biopsy done on Tuesday will they know by Friday. So if I don’t hear anything on Friday everything is good. Or will they not have there results until the following week? So I made a conscious decision not to worry. I know I will get a letter from my regular doctor stating that he has the results and everything was fine.

The problem is not resolved though. So even though I went through all this I am still having the infrequent and then very frequent movements. The ends stage still has black stools which means blood. The doctor who performed the tests asked about the medication I was recently given, if they were helping. Well it was less than a week, but they helped some of my stomach problems but not all. He said to keep taking them. He also wasn’t the friendliest. It was down to business and that was it. I think next time I am going to request the doctor I had last year. He was friendly and acted like he cared. This guy was just hmm how do I describe it? flat, and regimental. Yeah that is it.

Flowers sent by Don, Janelle & Katie Bechtel

These lovely flowers were sent by a co-worker of my husband – Don and his family. They heard about my testing and how low I felt and sent them to me. I thought this was the sweetest thing. I have only met them during work functions, like company picnic and Christmas parties. They definitely worked! It made me feel wonderful.

Hugs!!
Namaste!!

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Sep 26

I am so honored

I have been given another award. I am really honored. Cindy Thrasher who blogs at Life’s too serious to be taken too seriously, was ever so gracious in awarding me the Versatile Award. I loved her comment when she left the award – what’s is more versatile than rambling.

The Versatile Blogger Award

There are rules for the award. One, thank the person who gave it to you. Then list seven random things about you, and finally give the award to five bloggers who you think deserve such an honor.

Here are my seven:

1) I was born in Germany

2) I got married when I was 18 and we are still together, it’s been 33 years.

3) Even though you wouldn’t know it now, I did beauty pageants when I was in my teens and came in first runner up twice.

4) I have lived in numerous places – 13 in Germany (I was an Army brat), Bronx, LI, Fleischmanns, Denver, Kelly Corners, Roxbury NY, again the Bronx. Short Hills, NJ, Raleigh, Greensboro and Saxapahaw NC.

5) Even though my Dad was in the army he remained a German citizen as did my Mother. They decided to make my brother and me German citizens instead of American.

6) I use to be a Republican, changed parties in ’08.

7) I am short 5′ 2″

Now to give you five bloggers who I feel are well deserving of this award.

1) How versatile is a blog whose byline reads Life, Motherhood, and Politics? To me, very. So with much accolade I give you The Ripple Effect 2009.

2) The Thin Spiral Notebook has wonderful stories, and is very versatile. She is into photography as well as writing.

3) 3 to 9 Travels is extremely versatile. Heck in her description she even says it, “…everything else is just what suits my fancy … odds and ends, high strangeness, dumb ideas, slices of my life. My blog is like my mind, a jumble of impressions – some making sense only by virtue of the elusive synchronicity.” -see there’s that word again, synchronicity.

4) Homecoming is another blog which I find very versatile. In a forum we belong to she described her blog as “…a bit of hodgepodge.” Every day, seven days a week, she writes about a different subject from the weather in Alaska to reviews. She even has a day she blogs randomly, can you get any more versatile than that? I think not!

5) Finally, last but definitely not least is Creative Space. Mine. She blogs about anything from creativity, to health, history and a host of other things. She is also using the background theme I used for many years until recently.

So please, go ahead and check these bloggers out. They all have something unique to offer.

Namaste!
Cat von Hassel-Davies

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Sep 25

My First Small Stone

Phantasmagoria weaving amongst the words. In and out.
There amongst the characters; standing, watching, listening, as much a part of the scene as they are.
Waiting. Waiting. Waiting for that moment of epiphany I know the story will share with me.

To find out about Small Stones head on over to Fiona and Kaspar’s site called Writing Our Way Home. I heard about it when I became immersed in Return 2 Writing, and it was really a synchronous moment. I am true believer in synchronicity, for many years. Gloria Kapinski really made it hit home when I read her book Where Two Worlds Touch.

I had discovered something about myself – most of my writings are first drafts. Yes I do go over them for grammar and punctuation, but that is it. I don’t change my writing, my words, the way the sentences come together, not one bit. I also receive a lot of compliments on my writing – hoping that everyone is not just being nice, but are really, truly genuine in their compliments, I decided to try something.

I want to fine tune my writing, I want my readers to envision what I write. I don’t necessarily mean my blog writing, but I will start with that. I also want to be more descriptive. I really lack that, not only in my writings, but in real life. Some of it is that FM has stolen a few of my brain functions, LOL well that is what I say, I know it’s because my blonde roots are showing. Words I can’t remember, it is there on the tip of the tongue, almost, but no I can’t get it out. It is frustrating as hell.

Well anyway, the other day it was raining, really coming down and I decided that I needed to take a moment and just describe something as much as I can, but not get overly detailed. I am hoping this exercise would help me with being more descriptive. That is when Return 2 Writing came to my attention and I started reading her posts and I discovered Small Stones. Exactly what I was trying to achieve. So during that rainy afternoon I wrote my first small stone.

The rain is gently falling. It’s pitter-patter
gently heard on the leaves & birdbath.
Thunder is rolling along the sky in the distance.
The sky lights up, every few minutes,
as quick as a flash,
quickly illuminating the dark gray skies.

A first draft, no fixing.

Now to doctor it up a bit.

The rain falls softly. It’s pitapat resonating on the rhododendron leaves.
The drops performing ballet on the birdbath water.
Distant thunder marching it’s way along the sky.
Lightning, illuminating the sooty clouds.

I would love your serious criticisms, thoughts, or anything else you have to add. Please leave a comment.

Hugs!!!
Namaste!!
Cat von Hassel-Davies

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