I have many times have I fallen into the snares of my tongue. Just like in James 3:8 …no one can tame the tongue-a restless evil, full of deadly poison, my tongue also cannot be tamed. I try but it just does not work.
How often did I say something to one of my boys and dreaded it afterwards? How often has my husband told me to just let it go and don’t say anything, but my foolish tongue and brain did not listen? How many times have I said ‘why should I keep quiet and let it eat me inside, shouldn’t my transgressor know what they are doing to me?’ How do we get out of that vicious cycle of tongue, head and heart all vying to say something?
For me it should be turning to God’s word. Notice should? It helps soothe all my ails, but sometimes my stubborn ways get entangled with my knowing self. It also hasn’t helped that for a while I turned my back to God and stopped listening to his words and prompts. Yes, he has motivated me many times and many times I did not heed his call.
Even as recent as March, when we were vacationing in NY, God was screaming at me that I needed to start reading His Word and take up a study. Still I turned a deaf ear to him, until finally one day he screamed so loud at me I had no choice but take heed. Actually He made a deal with me and of course He won.
KT (my lovely husband of 33 years) and I were taking a day trip to western NC and eastern TN looking at houses. We drove all over God’s lovely countryside, sightseeing and watching for real estate signs proclaiming FOR SALE. We saw beautiful landscape, lots of horse and donkey farms.
Absolutely beautiful countryside!
We actually had planned a weekend of it, but KT started feeling ill and around 4 p.m. it started getting worse. We decided to head home. He did want to stop in Burlington at Tractor Supply to buy a Have-a-Heart trap. Something kept setting off our motion light in the backyard, and since our chickens are back there it was a major concern for us.
Something deep inside me said that if we make it back in time stop at Lifeway near Tractor Supply, before they close, go in and buy a Bible and devotional. I looked at the time, no way were we going to make it back by 6 p.m. before they closed. It got louder and LOUDER and LOUDER.
I knew we would never make it in time, the time, was 4:30 p.m., we were way out in Wilkesboro. I agreed to that inner voice!
HA! God had plans for me and do not fool around when HE wants something! We made it in plenty of time. KT dropped me off while he ran to Tractor Supply. That weekend, not only did I get a Bible and devotional, I found a church – Holy Comforter Episcopalian Church – to attend as well, along with a Bible study at same church.
Following a devotional I stumbled upon Proverbs and words that rang so true to my heart it pained me. Seared through my soul and cut deep. Especially in light of some things that had happened when my son and daughter-in-law stayed with us.
Better is a dry morsel with quiet than a house full of feasting with strife.Proverbs 17:1
GASP!! didn’t I just do something similar to this one night. It was not a lot of strife but you could definitely feel the tension in the air when I had made a comment.
Then another night, dear son said something, and that ‘a friend loves at all times and kinsfolk are born to share adversity.verse 17 That difficulty was rearing its ugly head and my hard heart was not listening to what my sweet husband was trying to tell me. I was saying that they need to share in the difficulty I was having and sweet, knowing KT was saying, ‘No, you need to just let things lie and forget.’
Instead, I let the waters build up behind a dam, when I should have been turning to sweet Jesus and praying to him for the strength, the strength to forgive, and forget. But instead the fulfillment of verse 14 came to fruition-the beginning of strife is like letting out water; so stop before the quarrel breaks out. Oh boy did the quarrel break out. Why? because I just could not stop my foolish tongue and it kept on wagging and the dang dam broke.
Oh how I wish I was as the fool who kept silent and was considered wise, and upon closing their lips were deemed intelligent.verse 28
Along came God and His Word, I found that I could come to Him and bring Him my transgressions and be forgiven. I can also turn around and forgive those who have trespass on me.
Unfortunately I probably should have answered softly as it turns away wrath; whereas, harsh words stirs up anger.Proverbs 15:1 Because unfortunately, as I love her dearly as if she is one of my own, and I have forgiven the affront and want to foster the friendship, she is dwelling on the dispute (and also I believe some misconstrued notions) and alienating a friend.Proverbs 17:9
I know one day Jesus will heal her heart and I will be here for her.
Waiting with open arms and heart!